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  • student: hey government can I have some money to go to university
  • uk government: sure here you go. you'll have to pay it back but only when you're earning £21,000+ a year, and if you don't pay it off after 30 years we'll just write it off, don't worry about it man
  • scottish government: nah man just go to uni we ain't gonna charge you
  • us government: no. you gotta pay it yourself. upfront. your parents have to save up from the moment you're born. good luck, fucker. you have six months after graduating to start paying loans so you better pray to fucking god and jesus that you have a well-paying job by then or be prepared to be fucked up the ass without lube.
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starksmash:

mamakarkat:



cronkri:



karkat—vantass:



chulacabra:



allstarbatmanny:



My roommate got sent a 2.5 pound box of sour gummy worms and these are the nutrition facts.



running w/ scissors



the ingredients though










serving size: bowl
Servings per box: Depends on size of bowl
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deardeerling:

in west narnia born and raisedthrough the wardrobe was where i spent most of my days
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Anonymous asked: There is a cute boy I go to school with and today I got brave enough to say hi to him in the hall and HE BLUSHED. I just wanted to share with someone!!

zackisontumblr:

awh get it qt

glad you had a good day!!

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Anonymous asked: I feel really bad for you sometimes because you seem to really hate being on tumblr and you also seem to dislike the people here. It appears that running this blog makes you really unhappy and I sometimes wonder why you continue to do so if that is the case...

officialunitedstates:

No, I like running this blog because I’m winning.  I’m going to get more followers until the point where I can take over this site with sheer influence and determination.  Until that day, I remain ever watchful, ever ready, ever officialunitedstates. 

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Anonymous asked: i wanna submit fan art for this blog. is that okay?? its about this blog its not like random

officialunitedstates:

you can tag me in it or you can translate it into morse code, translate that into musical notes, put that music on a cd, put that cd in a car, and ship me that car

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officialunitedstates:

For earth day, I’m consuming 12 lbs of dirt from my backyard

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quotes-4u:

Marriage
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whorizonwireless:

you are currently a ‘basic bitch’ please upgrade to ‘premium bitch’ for only 3 payments of $19.95

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largebigmacmealplz:

Not being able to bring Sexy back because you lost the receipt #FirstWorldProblems

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